Levels of Awesomeness?

[gregmelton]

When I drive to work everyday, I think to myself, 'these other drivers on the road just really can't come close to how awesome I am.' I mean, come on. Look at that fool in the SUV dumping $120 into his tank when he fills it up! That's not awesome. Whatever the opposite of awesome is, that's it right there.

That got me thinking... if our government can have threat levels or color-coded warnings, why can't there be more then one level of awesomeness? That's a no brainer, right?

So, here goes.

Low/Green-level
Since our color-coded fear chart never reaches this level for terrorist attacks (well, not until 1/20/2009, at least). We hope it never comes to this. If it does you're slacking. In which case, a not so nice, nah-sum (that's right all lowercase, New Orleans accent, and un-awesome) works well.

Guarded/Blue-level
Guarded risk of awesome attacks. This is the training wheels of awesome. Respectable but not quite godly, enough.

Elevated/Yellow-level
Elevated risk of awesome attacks. Half-awesome it is then.

High/Orange-level
High risk of awesome attacks. Appropriately expressed with a simple AWESOME.

Severe/Red-level:
Severe risk of awesome attacks. Can be be expressed by the following: IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!! (that's right, all caps, three exclamation marks because it feels so good.)

I'm open to all suggestions. At which time this list will be etched in stone and placed on Awesome Mountain after passing the Awesome Burning Bush en route to the 10 Commandments.